I need to write more. I used to write so much. I also used to have a flat(ish) tummy. I used to smoke like a chimney, too. These things I did before I was a Mom. But now, I realize I have so much more to write about. Back then (pre-Mom) I wrote mostly about boys. Boys were a hot topic then. Now, I have two boys to write about. A girl, too. Those three are my world. One of the boys is my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, my therapist, my personal chef, my barista, my favorite comedian, my Joel. He is oh, so very wonderful. I almost let him go at one dark point in my life. Thank GOD for the light. The girl is this super sweet, uber smart, awesomely curious, way too sassy for anyone's good, dancer extraordinaries, lover of all that is pink. She is Grace in every aspect of the word. She is my ballerina. She is my goof ball. She is my husband's "Daddy's Girl". She is my son's big sister. My son. Yeah, he's that other boy. My little monkey. My puppy, my heart! He has his Daddy's sheepish smile. His left ear was made from the same mold used to form his Daddy's left ear. He likes to have his feet rubbed & tickled. He likes my impersonation of the Cowardly Lion. He also loves Momma's milk. He is already 20lbs & not even 6 months old yet. These are the people I wake up for every morning. These are the people I breath for. There were times before they were in my life that I now realize I was merely existing. I was going with the flow. My life really had no direction. I mean, I have three wonderful siblings; two big sisters & a little brother. I have two parents who, I have to believe did the best they could. (That blog entry will come later, I promise.) But I didn't really have a purpose. I went to work every day. I banged out a bunch of flower arrangements & then I met up with friends to drink coffee. And smoke. And talk. And waste my time on most of them. But now, I have these three amazing people who love me & need me & appreciate me & totally deserve my love. WOW! And I deserve theirs in return. It's so nice to be in a place in my life where I don't just, "expect the least & be happy with any extra". I figured I would invest everything in others & just be happy with whatever I got out of it. Sad. But true. Good thing I hadn't put any money out there. Although, I was emotionally bankrupt for quite some time. But now, I am rich with love, hugs, kisses, zurberts, giggles, and really bad Kindergarten knock-knock jokes. And I couldn't be happier.
